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Am I Really Happy?

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I miss writing. I've already told you countless times that writing is my second love. Sometimes, when I'm feeling nothing on the inside, I wonder how much more exciting my life would have been if I had continued writing. Well, it's not yet the end of the road for me, yeah? Writing is a forgiving paramour. I've neglected it many times, and yet, every time I come back, it accepts me with arms wide open. Writing makes me happy. In the past years, this sinful world had offered me so many distractions and sources of fleeting happiness. Now, I still ask myself this: Am I truly happy? Writing makes me feel more. In my 28 years of existence, there were a lot of good and bad things that happened but somehow, I only remember vividly those which I write about. Whenever I read my past entries about a heartbreak or a joyous moment, I feel so alive. I feel so much. And that feeling, my friends, is priceless. And so, I decide to continue doing what I love the most: writi...
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Gazillion Stars

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I went camping this weekend in Calatagan Batangas and I felt so fucking free. Free from all the stress and pressure of life, free from all the hate, the sadness and the heartbreaks. For the period of time that I was there, I was not stressed, confused and heartbroken. I was free and happy.  You see, I have been heartbroken my entire life, I don't even know how not to be heartbroken anymore. So I'm grateful...I'm grateful for those times when I could forget how my heart is breaking and when the monsters were kept at bay. Needless to say, I needed that short vacation like I needed air to breathe. So....after drinking alcohol that night, I lied down on a blanket and watched the stars. I'm telling you, I almost cried just looking at them. At that moment, I felt like I was being swallowed by small shiny glittery gazillions of stars and I wanted to freeze that fraction of my lifetime. I willed time to freeze and repeatedly asked God if I could just stay...
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Trust the Process and the Purpose

I do believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. There is no inconsequential moment. Every moment is unique, important and is destined to specifically happen for a purpose. Every breathe, every unexpected meeting, every blink, every 'hi', every tear, every trip, every smile, every 'no', every conversation, every victory, every loss, every heartache, everything...everything happens for a reason. 
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How I Lost 17 Kilos In 5 Months

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                I am a hard worker especially when I put my mind and heart into something. However, there came a point this year when I felt like I lost everything I've worked hard for. I lost control over almost every aspect of my life. I drank a lot, smoked a lot, ate a lot. I had no reservations.  The Addiction                     Food became my bestfriend. It was my outlet whenever I would feel depressed, which was OFTEN. Yep. I felt depressed almost every hour of every day and during those times, I would eat. Eating, for me, became a balm to a very painful wound. It provided temporary numbness to my aching soul. It was a tight hug to my lonely old self. It was something to fill the void, albeit, temporary but still...but still.  In short, eating was on the top of my "short-term-source-of-happiness-that-could-somehow-alleviate-the-pain" list. And of course, you would not...
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I Don't Give A F*ck ❤

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                                         A while ago, I was driving to work when I heard a song entitled, " She's Hot Though" by Five Seconds of Summer. The melody was really good but what got me was the lyrics. My girlfriend’s bitchin’ cause I always sleep in She’s always screamin’ when she’s calling her friend She’s kinda hot though Yeah, she’s kinda hot though (Just an itty bitty little bit hot) My shrink is telling me I got crazy dreams She’s also saying I got low self esteem She’s kinda hot though Yeah, she’s kinda hot though (Just a little bit a little bit hot) She put me on meds, she won’t get out of my head She’s kinda hot though (One, two, three, four) My friend left college 'cause it felt like a job His mom and dad both think he’s a slob He’s got a shot though (No, not really) Yeah, he’s got a ...
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How Badminton Changed My Life

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                                     Three months ago, I was a very sad person. I could still remember how there were times when pangs of sadness would hit my entire body and my soul all at once. I would talk to myself in the middle of the night in front of the mirror while crying, cheering myself up, and hoping to somehow mend the thousand pieces of my broken heart by uttering words of affirmation to myself. I was miserable. I would write letters of apology to myself. I would often say sorry for letting go of the freedom I fought so fucking hard to get. I gained so much weight. I almost drank myself to death. I was awake during the wee hours. I settled for less than what I deserve in love. I was a mess. A total mess.                      I was a lost cause.                    Lo...
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La Dolce Vita ❤

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La Dolce Vita = The Sweet Life                    Let me start by letting you know the purpose of this trip. I wanted some time away from the bustling city. I wanted some time away from the pain and heartache. Due to the recent events in my life, I became a sad person. Although I was laughing so loud and smiling so much, inside, I was a sad, sad person. I would smile and laugh just to appeace the world. I wanted to smile...to really...really....really smile. I wanted to laugh my heart out and not feel empty after.   So....there you go. In a nutshell, I took this trip because I wanted to see and experience the beauty of life once again.          First, I chose La Union because of the bohemian vibe going on in this place. I've never been here before but based on the pictures I saw, it has stricken me as a calm place where I can think, meditate and pray. Then, I heard about Camp Avenue, a ...
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