How Badminton Changed My Life

                   

                 Three months ago, I was a very sad person. I could still remember how there were times when pangs of sadness would hit my entire body and my soul all at once. I would talk to myself in the middle of the night in front of the mirror while crying, cheering myself up, and hoping to somehow mend the thousand pieces of my broken heart by uttering words of affirmation to myself. I was miserable. I would write letters of apology to myself. I would often say sorry for letting go of the freedom I fought so fucking hard to get. I gained so much weight. I almost drank myself to death. I was awake during the wee hours. I settled for less than what I deserve in love. I was a mess. A total mess.

                     I was a lost cause. 

                  Long story short, I was fat, I was depressed, I was heartbroken, I felt ugly and unwanted. Then came badminton...and my life had never been the same. Just like most of the great things in my life, it came like a thief in the night. To be honest, I did not realize at first that it would mean so much to me. I just wanted an outlet, something I can do to pass time and to get my mind away from the things I did not want to think about. I started playing thrice a week, one hour per day. One hour became two...three, four, sometimes five hours and thrice a week became EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY. I became an addict. Lock me up Mr. President, I'm guilty as charged hahahaha.

                   After two months, I immediately lost 10 kilos. From 74 kilos, I became 64. I played and played and played every chance I get and in different courts, with different badminton players. I met so many friends . Over time, I realized that the game of badminton is for all ages and for all people from different walks of life. I heard stories, felt feelings, seen beauty in different forms. I started sleeping peacefully. The monsters were kept at bay. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was happy. I was genuinely happy once again. And most importantly, I felt so fucking free.

                      Then came another heartbreak from the same person who had caused me so much pain and heartbreaks. But this time... this time, it was different. I had badminton in my life. I continued playing. I continued meeting people. I continued living. I knew right then that I was already a different person. I was not the same helpless, depressed, fat, ugly girl who genuinely believed that she did not deserve to be loved. I was stronger than ever. I was lean, fit and sexy. I was very confident and I was the best version of myself. I felt so beautiful. I felt so fucking free. Right then...right fucking then, I knew I deserve all the love this world and this life had to offer. I deserve all the good things in life. Badminton changed me. And he, no matter the magnitude of pain he had caused me, could NOT break me.

                       Right now, I'm already weighting 57 kilos. I am enjoying the company of a lot of friends. I work really hard in the morning and play really hard at night.  Yes, I am still constantly devoting my free time to playing badminton. I owe badminton so much. Looking back, I would forever thank God for giving me the opportunity to say yes to playing my first badminton game during one of the darkest era of my life. Life is good. Life is good.