Gazillion Stars





I went camping this weekend in Calatagan Batangas and I felt so fucking free.
Free from all the stress and pressure of life, free from all the hate, the sadness and the heartbreaks. For the period of time that I was there, I was not stressed, confused and heartbroken. I was free and happy. 

You see, I have been heartbroken my entire life, I don't even know how not to be heartbroken anymore. So I'm grateful...I'm grateful for those times when I could forget how my heart is breaking and when the monsters were kept at bay.

Needless to say, I needed that short vacation like I needed air to breathe.

So....after drinking alcohol that night, I lied down on a blanket and watched the stars. I'm telling you, I almost cried just looking at them. At that moment, I felt like I was being swallowed by small shiny glittery gazillions of stars and I wanted to freeze that fraction of my lifetime. I willed time to freeze and repeatedly asked God if I could just stay there forever, live the beach life, marry a local fisherman or whatever, not worry another day of my life. I asked God if I can just run away from everything, live the simple life, love and be loved, never get hurt again, never get my feelings trashed, have someone who truly loves me and care for me, be with the one I love...oh fuck this shit. I'm ruining this blog entry, am I not? Hahahaha. Forgive me. It's my drunk ass who is talking right now. Okay...I'll try to make another entry about the friggin' camping trip when I'm sober. 

Talk to you again (hopefully soon) bitches.
Love, 
Drunk tita kimmy 😂

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