The Fire Between High & Lo

Novels are my life. They're my addiction. They're my go-to-bestfriends. You can just leave me with nothing but food, water, shelter and thousands and millions of novels and I'll live the happiest girl in the whole wide world. Or you can just leave me with nothing but books and I could die out of dehydration, starvation or cold but I'll still die the happiest woman on earth.

No, no, no. I don't think you understand even a fraction of my addiction for reading novels. You see, reality is a bitch so whenever life hits me hard, with the speed it will take to bat an eyelash, I come running back to the greatest love of my life: novels.

Of all the novels I've read though, for the longest time now, my favorite has been 'The Degradation Series' of Stylo Fantome. I can't tell you anything about my love for this series in this blog entry because there's just so many things to say and this entry is not about my love for Fantome but for another author. Nonetheless, I really really really want you guys to know that she is one of the greatest author of all time. She is "IT" for me. If I were a guy, I would marry her just so I could get first dibs on whatever it is that she is writing.

Last night though, last night was a game-changer for me. I chanced upon this book entitled "The Fire Between Hi & Lo" by Brittainy C. Cherry and just like that, I have a new favorite author. I know, I know. I feel like a bitch jumping from one man to another but heyyyyy, you can't blame a woman for loving so much books as good as those of Brittainy. Seriously. She is the bomb. I've never been a fan of mellow-dramatic books (and just about anything that is mellow dramatic for that matter, thank you very much), but boy, oh boy, oh boy, was I in for one of the biggest treats of my life. To be honest, I did not see it coming. One moment, I was just curious about this good author that everyone has been talking about in various novel facebook pages in which I am a member of, and the next moment, I was crying my heart out over one of her books and loving every fucking moment of it.

Gosh, Brittainy's "The Fire Between Hi & Lo" is basically the story of my life written in a book. Seriously. She was able to capture so many emotions which I couldn't verbalize myself. Reading it was a sad but sweet journey to my past. It was painful but it was also very beautiful. It brought me to places I've been running away from for the longest time now. Surprisingly, when she brought me there, I did not get burn. In fact, if I'm going to be honest, I felt so alive and real...and alive. Yep, I repeated the word. It's because, I did feel so alive. For a moment, I actually believed that the past did not burn me to ashes. For a moment, I was able to conquer the monsters which have been roaming my mind since time immemorial.

I really wish I can tell you more...but it's already 3 am and I've got to attend my 8 o'clock review class today. Anyway, I'll leave you with my favorite TFBHL quotations. Enjoy!!

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Two years, seven girlfriends, two boyfriends, nine breakups, and a stronger friendship later....

Maybe in a different world, I would’ve been enough for her. Maybe I wouldn’t have been screwed up since I was a kid, and would’ve had my life together. I would’ve gotten into college and had a career, something to show for myself. Then, I could’ve asked her out and took her to some fancy restaurant, and told her to order anything on the menu because money wasn’t an issue. I could’ve told her how her blue eyes always smiled, even when she frowned, and that I loved how she chewed on the collar of all of her T-shirts when she was bored, or anxious.

“I could’ve been someone worthy of loving, and she would’ve allowed me to love her, too.”

I sighed, taking out some cash from my college funds to pay the electric bill.

Three hundred and twenty-three dollars left.

And just like that, the dream seemed a bit further away.

“Logan?”

“Yeah?”

“I love your mind.”

“Alyssa?”

“Yeah?”

I’m falling in love with you…

“Thanks for tonight. You have no clue how much I needed this. You have no clue how much I needed you.” I lightly squeezed her hand. “You’re my greatest high.”

And then I looked up.

Pro.

Seat 4A was filled.

He came.

I relaxed against the piano bench and allowed myself to get lost in the keys. My fingers connected to the piano, making magic happen. Making the sounds of my soul fill the space. I didn’t mean to cry, but a few tears fell as I played. When I finished, I stood and took a bow. The audience wasn’t supposed to applaud until after everyone performed, so the bad players wouldn’t feel terrible when they didn’t receive the loud roars of the room. But the boy in seat 4A was standing with a single daisy in his hands, clapping like crazy, hooting and hollering.

I smiled at the boy with a suit too big for him.

“Truth or lie?” I asked.

“Lie,” she whispered.

“I’m fixing the flower in your hair,” I said, combing her curls behind her ear. “Now ask me again.”

“What are you doing?” she asked as I moved closer, feeling her words brush against my lips.

“Truth or lie?”

“Truth.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” I told her. 

“Why are you so upset?”

“Because how could he do that? How could he turn his back on you? On you, High. You’re the most beautiful, genuine, gentle person I’ve ever met. And he left you. For what? For music? For money? Fame? It’s crap, because none of that adds up.” He sat back down beside me, his breaths still heavy with irritation. “I’m just trying to understand, that’s all,” he said, hanging his legs off of the edge of the billboard as we stared out into the distance.

“Understand what?”

“How anyone could ever give you up.”

I tried to wish it away, but it won’t leave. Whenever you’re near me, I want you closer. Whenever you laugh, I want the sound to never fade. Whenever you’re sad, I want to kiss your tears away. I know all of the reasons that I shouldn’t want to be with you. I know that I can never be forgiven for what happened all those years ago, but I also know that I still love you. You’re still the fire that keeps me warm when life becomes cold. You’re still the voice that keeps the darkness at bay. You’re still the reason my heart beats. You’re still the air in my lungs. You’re still my greatest high. And I am still truly, madly, painfully in love with you. And I don’t think I’ll ever know how to stop.”

“For always, High?”

“For always, Lo.”