30 Day Photography Challenge: Day 1

Well, Day 1 in the 30 Day Photography Challenge says, "Self Portrait".

Since the picture is about good ole' fucking me, I think I wanna share some stuff I've gone through and situations I've been to, this sem break

These past few weeks have been monumental and reinnesance-ish to me. As you may know, I'm already 24 years old..turning 25 next year, graduating next year and taking the bar next year. And baby, next year being less than a month from today, everything got whacked.

Yes, bitch, you got it right. Alotta things are going to happen next year that's why for a certain period, i don't even know how long, I got fucking lost. Yep. I lost it. One day, I went to my room, lied down on my bed and for some reason, most of which are still unknown as of the moment, I never wanna do anything else. I was simply stuck in my head and I couldn't get out. Well, lost some very good friends, lost the cofidense of my family and I almost flunked some subjects. Maybe I got pressured by the magnitude of things that's about to happen. As mentioned, I'm still not aware of the all the freaking reasons. All I know was that I got lost.

I then waited. It's not like I haven't had episodes of 'loosing it' before so in the midst of the nothingness and the hopelessness, I somehow expected that I will be able to easily get back on track. I was wrong. I was damn wrong. I waited...and I waited...and I waited. Days went by and I totally cut myself off from any form of communication with the people I love. It was just me and the big black hole inside my heart.

It came to a point when I got tired of waiting. I would cry myself to sleep and scream at my self to "snap out of it". "Snap out of it, Kim. Snap out of it. Snap out of it. Snap out of it. Snap out of it.", I would chant.

Nature took it's course. I'm not sure if I have already fully recovered from my 'episode' but right now, I'm seeing a streak of light. I'm seeing possibilities. I'm seeing colors. I'm seeing hope.

Maybe...the game is not yet over for me. Maybe I still have tons of things to do and to accomplish and to achieve and maybe it's possible for me to actually do, accomplish and achieve them. Maybe it's not the end of the line for me.

Right now, I'm pushing through my last sem in law school, I'm getting financially relieved (big thanks to my loving sisters), I'm going to kick start my diet plans tomorrow, and everything's going fine.

Dear God.....I hope, with all my broken heart and soul, it gets better. I hope it gets so much better.

XoXo
Kimmy