Coffee with Kimmy

I don’t understand myself. I left him so I can have the chance to open my heart to uncomplicated men. I used to hate his impossibleness and the complexities of our relationship. Now that we’re over, I can’t seem to be attracted to simple men.  Why? Maybe I secretly loved the thrill. Maybe, I loved him because he is complicated. Maybe…just maybe, there’s a masochist inside me. Maybe, I love being hurt. I know…I hope that I love to be loved too. I love too much but I don’t receive the same love I’m giving. Did I get so used to the complexities that I learned to embrace them? Three years is not a short time. Maybe that monster transformed me into the monster that he is. It is possible too that I transformed him into the monster that I am. I wish I can just be a normal girl who loves to be loved. And somewhere in my heart, I’m still hoping that someone will come to my life and give me so much love that I will hate to be hurt.

In life, we are destined to meet different kinds of people. Some are destined to hurt us. Some are destined to teach us life lessons. Some are destined to make us realize things. And some….some are just plain crazy people who are destined to make us happy for the rest of our existence. My Besti, definitely belongs to the last category. I never thought I  will ever find a  bestfriend in the person of a man. He is me. That’s how I will describe him. Honestly, I have never met a person who is so like me in so many freakin’ ways. My Besti is my guy version. We absolutely share the same interests, same happiness, same passion, same ‘jejeness’ and a whole lot more.  Another thing I would like to share about my besti is that he is sugar and spice and everything nice. He is sunshine. He is all good vibes. We will encounter sad and oh so crazy situations but honey, he carries his own sunshine. :)  Despite our weirdness and all the eccentric things we do, I can’t help but wond...

"Kim, do you really know what to do with your life?", a  random question from my friend, Monica.  Without batting an eyelash, I said yes. I have a clear vision of my future. I'm lucky I already know what I want and I'm luckier because I know how to get what I want. How am I able to do this? People, I love what I love. Nothing else really mattered, nothing else matters and nothing else will ever matter. :) Everyone has their own story. I do honestly believe that who we are now, is the result of what we've been through, things which are brought about by our everyday choices. Yes, we have total control of our lives. God gave us the freedom to choose our path. The question to be resolved now is that, how do you really know what path to choose? How do you know what decision to make? How do you know where to go? How do you decide what to wear? How do you determine which course to take? As cheesy as it may get, love what you love and you'll never go wrong and you...

Let me remember. Before I finally let go, let me remember. I remember waking up next to him one sunny day of June. It was all surreal. I remember every second of it. When I opened my eyes, his arms are around me, hugging me very tight. I didn't move for a long time. I just stayed there, motionless, trying to figure out how I managed to live 20 years of my life without him.  I wanted to freeze that moment. Oh, God knows how much I wanted that moment to last for a lifetime..but yes, he is a fair God and he wouldn't allow that.  I remember having cheap coffee with him in a 24-hour convenient store near a big mall, talking for hours, sharing our thoughts, dreams, fears, laughing, staring at each other as if there's no other person there. We had no money. We only had a few penny clanking in our pockets, but we were happy. We often did not care about everything when we're together. It was just him...and me, along with our dreams and aspirations. We would always talk ...

I  have a very clear picture in mind of what my future will be like. I know what I want and that's one of the many things I'm thankful for. God gave me the courage to decide and choose my future and I'm making it sure I'm using that well. Just a while ago, I was thinking about how my life will be a few years from now..and yes, right now, I'm going to let you have a glimpse of what's going on inside my mind. Ladies and gents, a fraction of my chosen (and hopefully granted) future: ______________________________________________________ I parked my pink hummer car in front of the house. Before I get off, I bowed my head, prayed and thanked God for keeping me safe. I was tired because of all the shit of the profession..but it's a love-hate relationship. It has always been a love-hate relationship. Just like how most of my relationships are. I got off and started walking in my 5-inch pumps. I checked out my car...my plate ...

Have you ever tried lying down on the seaside with your eyes closed and all other senses heightened? I did. And it was one of the most priceless experiences ever. I just laid down, closed my eyes...and felt the sands. I listened intently to the sound of the waves calmly crashing on the shores of the island. I smelled the damp smell of the ocean and let it linger all over me for a while...Did that for a minute or two and when I opened my eyes, the feeling was, again, priceless. For that period of time, nothing matters. All the problems, doubts, insecurities and imperfections of this world were suddenly gone. It was just me...and the ocean.

Hello y'all!! It's that time of the year again. :) Don't you just love this month? I mean seriously! Flowers, new life, good vibes, beginnings. Those are just some of the words associated with the month of May. But it's more than that for me. It's my....okay drum rolls please....BIRTH MONTH! :) Yes, yours truly is turning 23 this month. You see, this month will always be special for me. While some people have admittedly stopped celebrating their birthdays on 20s, I will always always always always remember and celebrate my birthday. Sooooo, here's some things I'd like to have on my special day: 1.  Shi Tzu (Source: Winniethetzu) I really want to have my own dog. I will name it '_______'. Oh, I still haven't thought of a name for it. I guess it's okay cuz' I still haven't gotten a dog too. For my 23rd birthday, I want a best friend. Something I can hug when I'm  feeling so stressed and somethin...

I had my first stick when I was in my first year in law school and it was offered by my first boyfriend. That moment, I acted like I perfectly know how to smoke. Hahahaha. Don't judge me, I wanted to impress my partner that time. Until now, I couldn't help but laugh every time I remember how I was shivering and how I almost died after my first few hits. I coughed to death. It was not love at first hits, baby. After that, it took a few more months before I tried smoking again. Law School people likes smoking and cigarettes are readily available anywhere. If I remember it correctly, it was when I was in 3rd year that I started taking smoking seriously hahaha. That time, I was so stressed with everything that's going on with my life. I was so pressured at school, I was penniless because I was jobless that time, my ex-boyfriend and I were having so many problems, life was so dark. I lit a cigarette every time I felt stressed. I dunno but it felt sooo right. There wer...

I was browsing my newsfeed when I came across this post in  berlin-artparasites : “Imagine this:   Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down t o freedom. Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of se bedtime story: “Imagine this: Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down t o freedom. Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of sewing scissors. Cinderella refuses everything but the glass slippers from her fairy godmother, crushes her stepmother’s windpipe under her heel, and the Prince falls madly in love with the mysterious girl who dons rags and blood-staine...

THIS is what kept me busy this weekend. I am at awe. Seriously, this game is not just about selling lemonades! It's a whole lot more! After nearly 15 hours of playing, I felt like I wanted to put up my own business immediately. I extremely recommend this to those entrepreneur-wannabes out there. This might just be what you need to jump start your business. Above all others, here is a list of the features which got me head over heals in love with the game: 1. I get to set up the right recipe which will make the customers happy. In doing so, I have to take into account the weather for the current day (i.e. I need to add the ice contents whenever it's a hot summer day), my available supplies, etc. 2. I need to find the right place to set up and run my business. There's a lot of choices which comes with rental fee, the latter depending on the volume of people that may purchase my lemonades. So, there's the suburbs where I can sell for free and there's the stadi...

♫ ♫She cries..This is more than goodbye. When I look into your eyes, you're not even there ♫ ♫  - Just A Feeling, Maroon5 Once upon a time, there was this love which I tried so hard to save. Now, that love is gone. It's all gone. Fuck the interims. I don't want to remember. I just want to learn. I'm one crazy gal. I know that. I'm the type of person whose highs and lows are so pronounced. I get jealous all the time. I'm territorial. I am emotionally unstoppable. I get excited at arguments. I get overwhelmed with the thought of pain. I know it's very difficult to love a girl like me and yes, most men repel crazy girls. But baby, when I fall in love, guaranteed, it's a crazy kind of love, it's the most loyal and faithful love, it's the 'give-all-I-have' love. I don't ever want to reminisce again everything that happened. I just want to learn from them. I don't want to feel angry or sad or whatever. Again, I just ...

Ola dearest readers! If I remember it correctly, this is already my fourth (and hopefully last) blog. I honestly don't remember the username and password of my first, I still have the second but I don't use it because I messed up its template and my third blog... my third   and most valued blog dear folks mysteriously dissipated into the world wide web. Yes, today, I was able to confirm that it was already gone. Must've clicked or deleted something *sniff *sniff. It's so sad because for over three years, me and that blog shared a number of highs and lows. I feel like I lost my best friend. You see, I'm not   a techy person but I have always been involved into writing. In my previous blog, I had one entry where I explained how writing is my second love (reading is my first).   Aah yes, writing is my way of relieving.   Writing is my way of coping. Writing saved my life countless times, it's one of the reasons why I'm still alive up to this momen...