Carry the Universe in Your Heart

“I believe in strong women. I believe in the woman who is able to stand up for herself. I believe that if you have problems, as a woman you deal with them, you don't play victim, you don't make yourself look pitiful, you don't point fingers. You stand and you deal. You face the world with a head held high and you carry the universe in your heart.” - C. JoyBell

We all have our own prison. We all have our own pain. Sometimes...we have them because we get caught up in the circumstances but I dare say that most of the time...we create them. Yes, the solid truth which we love so much to ignore or which we refuse to accept is that most often than not, we create our own prison. We create our own pain.

Guilty as charged. Lock me up, sheriff. Yes, I created my own prison cell so many times before, there came a point in my life when I couldn't even remember how not to be a prisoner anymore. For so many years, I was a prisoner in an emotinally abusive relationship. I got used to my environment that I actually forgot I was imprisoned. In fact, I stayed there so long I actually fell in love with that aweful place.

Now you see, what we fail to understand (what I failed to understand for the longest time) is that we have so many choices. We can actually NOT CREATE the prison. Or in case it's already built, we can actually ESCAPE that freakin' prison. Or, if you are strong enough, you can even bring the walls down. You can also stay in that motherfucking place, just accept everything and make it a better place for you to live. Baby, that's just 4 of the 248 other options. 

Me? When I got the chance to leave, I did not just grab it. I fucking made a lunge at it. I fucking seized it. I escaped the dark side and I had no intention of ever going back.

Now, hear me and hear me well because this is the first and the last time I'm going to talk about it. Recently, someone tried to take away that very 'freedom' which I fought so hard to regain. A bad bad person disguised in a pretty face and a sweet smile. A mouth full of promises. He's even worse than the monster I dealt with before because this man...this evil man knew my hardships..he knew the things I went through to be able to get away and recover and yet.....and yet. I put my trust on him only to find out later on that all he wanna do is to put me back in the very same prison I was in before. A motherfucking lying back stabbing cheater. Now, tell me, what do you think did I do? Did I go back to the prison? Did I run away? Did I cry and go with him? Did I beg him not to take me? Did I shout for help? Which of the 248 options do you think I took?

Honey, in my mind, I killed the goddamn evil guy with the pretty face. With my pink revolver. And then, I kissed his pretty face goodbye and left a red mark on his cheek. :) 

That....that is how I decided to deal with it. Yes, instead of making another prison cell, this time, I decided to walk away from everything. And I did it with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. :)

The good thing here is that it made me realize how much I value my freedom now. Anyone who tries to get me back to that dirty place is dead to me. Made me realize how much stronger I am now than  I was before. And EVERY. SINGLE. DAY, I thank God for making me this strong now. I thank God for giving me the strength to move forward and embrace my freedom. I thank God for burying happiness so deep in my heart that no matter how hard the situation is, I always emerge victorious and happy. :)

And girls, thank you and you're welcome. 💋💋💋

XOXO,
KimmyGirl